In most couples, the bank account is shared. This is the way things should be done, according to many, who do not question this habit. However, we also know that money is one of the biggest sources of conflict between spouses ...
Evie Carrick, a freelance journalist, has a different take on the matter. She has been married for seven years and the couple do not share their finances. She thinks that is the secret of their union. On the BuzzFeed site, she explained why.
"I’m a saver and a penny-pincher (Scrooge, here). Watching a portion of my paycheck go into my savings and IRA every month makes me strangely happy. And while I’m down to splurge on a pricey ticket to Beirut or a spring wardrobe refresh, I see things like paying for a coffeeshop latte or eating out regularly as a waste of money.
My husband is the opposite. He’s free and easy with his money and lives in the moment. If he’s craving tacos, he’s getting tacos, regardless of what his bank account looks like or how many times he’s eaten out that week.
In short, I’m playing the long game while his motto is “life's short." We kinda balance each other out (and I love that he doesn't have the scarcity mentality I do), but I can’t imagine the arguments we would've had to endure if we'd gone the traditional route and shared our money."
This is why she decided to separate bank accounts:
" We started our marriage on unequal footing.
I mean, does any couple ever start a relationship with the exact same amount of money in the bank and the same salary? I doubt it. But it bothered me, especially since at the time, I was the one with more money in the bank and a bigger paycheck. Was I really supposed to hand over my life savings with a wifely smile? Yeah, right."
But that doesn't mean Carrick doesn't love her husband! She explains:
"I love my husband and truly believe we'll make it "'til death do us part," but I'm not naive. Couples break up, partners die, and life happens. I've heard one too many horror stories of women who totally give themselves (financially and otherwise) to their partner only to get dropped later on. And I know that making the decision to leave a relationship that's become abusive or toxic is infinitely easier when you have a bank account full of money that's all yours.
Call me paranoid, but the last thing I want is to feel indebted to someone else (even someone I love)."
This is exactly how the couple makes it work:
" To start, we have separate savings and checking accounts and credit cards.
I have no idea how much money he has in his savings or checking account — and to be honest, I don’t want to know. It’s also none of my business how much is on his credit card or how many cards he has (although we both made a pact to pay them off in full every month, and if we’re having trouble, we ask each other for help).
Then, we have one joint credit card for all joint things.
We call it our team card (we’re super cool, I know), and we put everything that involves both of us on it — gas, travel we do together, groceries, ordering in, etc. So if I was to grab breakfast alone, I’d use my personal card, but if he was there with me, we’d put it on the team card (unless one of us wanted to treat the other). Each month, I pay off the team card in full and send him a Venmo request for his half. This is also when he pays me his half of our rent (which I pay via check)."
What do you think of this approach? Do you have a separate bank account from your spouse?
